You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
