so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
