Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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