do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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