What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The uberlube is also flammable
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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