If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
