I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
