What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
