I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize