saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
