the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
