At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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