you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
