did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
