is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
