So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
