Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
