READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
