I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize