Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My vagina is officially offended.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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