first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
