she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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