why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
