PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
