So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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