I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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