after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
