HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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