May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
