I need help removing her.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
