I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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