ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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