i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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