im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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