But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
