And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We had sex on a dog bed..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
