Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
