that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
