i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
