chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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