so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
