when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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