some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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