oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
