we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
