You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
