I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
