My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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