I wish i was in the wii world.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
