they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
