and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
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