Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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