Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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