Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Randomize
