i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
