"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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