I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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