let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
