Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
