i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
