once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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