You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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