She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
