wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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