I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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