So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
