If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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