Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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