return my video game
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
