so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize