The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
