The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
