4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
