can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
a search helicopter?!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
