i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
its not stalking. its research.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize