yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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